As the bride, you're not going to love EVERY second of the wedding planning process. And neither will your bridesmaids, who are along for the ride—but don't get the added bonus of a big party in their honor at the end. Here's what probably has your bridesmaids all buggy—plus, my tips for keeping happy as they help you plan your happy day.
Your Bridesmaids Are B*tching About ... The Dress. It's too long, too short, too pink, too black, too bright, too drab—and too damn expensive. To Keep the B*tching to a Minimum: Part of being a bridesmaid is sucking it up in the Dress Dept.—you'll never find a dress that pleases everyone unless you let them pick their own—but try to be considerate of your friends' body types. (An easy solution: Pick a designer, a color, and a fabric, then let them pick the dress style.) Also be considerate of their budgets. If you know a $150 dress is too much for a friend, don't offer to chip in (she'll never accept)—just hand her $75 and say, "I know things are tight right now, so put this toward your dress. I'm not taking no for an answer."
Your Bridesmaids Are B*tching About ... The Moms. Your mom is bullying your MoH to invite her 30 sorority sisters to the bridal shower, while your groom's mom is insisting that the food be kosher, vegan, and gluten-free. Fun times! (Not.) To Keep the B*tching to a Minimum: YOU don't want to deal with mom drama, so don't pass the mom baton to your bridesmaids. Let both moms know that all wedding-y requests should be directed to you, and you'll pass on the reasonable ones.
Your Bridesmaids Are B*tching About ... The Extracurricular Activities. Engagement drinks! Engagement party! Shower 1! Shower 2! Bridesmaids spa getaway! "Oh, and you're going to help me assemble favors, right?!" To Keep the B*tching to a Minimum: Make sure your bridesmaids know that the only MANDATORY event is the wedding. Yes, you want everyone there for all the events leading up to it, but don't pressure bridesmaids who are long-distance, pregnant, or otherwise in over their eyeballs to be there for every dress fitting. Instead of commanding them to help you craft fabric buntings (or whatever doozie of a DIY project you've dreamed up) let them know you'll be slaving over a sewing machine and you're happy to ply them with brunch and booze if they're willing and able to lend a hand. In short: Forget the "maids" part of "bridesmaids"—and DON'T forget to thank them profusely for their help.
Your Bridesmaids Are B*tching About ... Each Other. Of course you love your childhood friends just as much as your college friends and your post-college BFF—but the only thing they have in common is their shared bridesmaid title. To Keep the B*tching to a Minimum: Don't force the friendship. It would be grand if they all got along, but chances are they're not going to talk again after your wedding. (Until your baby shower, anyway.) Instead, make everything more intimate by keeping your bridesmaids separate but equal. Chances are EVERYONE doesn't want to plan your shower, so if your sisters are really into it, let that be their job. Then ask your two friends from overnight camp to come dress shopping with you. If you ask only a few bridesmaids to participate in each wedding-y activity (and there are PLENTY to go around), none of them will suffer from wedding-overload—and you'll get more quality time with each of them.
What do you b*tch about as a bridesmaid? And do you think your bridesmaids b*tched about your wedding?
Article Credit: Kim Fusaro
Photo: Thinkstock.
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